Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Homeschool Humor

I have been out on the road again and have been totally taking a break from homeschooling. I even started doing some genealogy research again - and finding a TON of information! But, we start back to school on Monday, so I need to get our "school" in order. I'm reading some blogs tonight and came across some great homeschool humor at Alston Academy. Enjoy!

You Must Be Homeschooled If...
Someone asks what grade you're in and you're not sure.
You sometimes go to school in your pajamas.
You sleep till 9:00 am on school days, but get up early on Sundays.
Your favorite author is Jane Austen (girls) or Robert Louis Stevenson (boys).
You own the entire series of Saxon Math books.
Your birthday is an official school holiday.
You don't get to stay home from school when you're sick.
You are unaware of the current fads, fashions, and slang terms.
Your favorite activity is reading.
You know what a unit study is.
Watching a movie means you'll have to write a report comparing the film to the book.
You dress up as historical or literary characters for Halloween.
You exchange e-mail Valentines with your homeschool pen pals.
Your room looks like a science lab.
You can get science credit for going to the dentist.
You go to the park for P.E.
You check out at least ten books every time you visit the library.
You have ever attempted to teach yourself physics.
You have no idea what rock bands are currently popular.
You get books and science kits for your birthday.
You know what Latin roots are.
Your board games all have names like "Bookworm", "Scrabble", "S'math", "Game of Knowledge", and "Name The State".
Your home library is arranged in Dewey Decimal order.
Your favorite place to study is outside, under a tree.
You can quote lines from Shakespeare, but not from South Park.
You memorize math formulas for fun.
You never get nervous on the first day of school.
The only bully you ever run into is your big brother.
You don't have to remember a locker combination, just your computer password.
It takes you less than a minute to walk to school.
You don't have to worry about forgetting anything - you can just run back to your room and get it.
Your school bus is a nine-passenger van.
There are only nine students in your class - but all of them are your brothers and sisters.
You have a 12-year-old, a 6-year-old, and a 2-year old in the same class.
You can get extra credit for cleaning your room.

* * *
You Must Be a Home Educator If...
You live in a one-house schoolroom.
Your walls are covered with maps and timelines.
You know what math manipulatives are.
You have mold growing in your fridge…on purpose.
Your preschooler can name all the planets, but doesn't know who the Rugrats are.
You've mastered the fine art of vacuuming a floor without sucking up a Lego or K'nex piece.
You're either an expert at doing the Lego dance - Oooch! Ouch! Yeow! - or else you've resorted to wearing shoes around the house.
You know the recipes for homemade versions of Play-doh, finger paint, and paste.
Your students have to clear the breakfast bowls off the table before sitting down to do their school work.
Your house is messy, but your kids are happy.
You know that reverse psychology really works.
Your kids publish their own family newsletter.
You shop for birthday presents at educational stores.
All you want for Christmas is a Barnes & Noble gift certificate.
You'd rather buy books than clothes.
Your friends don't want to help you move because you have so many books.
You turn a trip to the grocery store into a learning experience.
You get nervous about what people will say when you take your kids to K-Mart in the middle of the day.
You have a standard one-minute speech to give to store clerks, mother-in-laws, and school officials about why you homeschool.
You are sick and tired of answering the question, "But what about socialization?"
For your wedding anniversary, you decide to splurge and get a photocopier.
Talking out loud to yourself is the same as having a parent/teacher conference.
When you see a parking lot full of mini vans, you wonder if there's a homeschooling conference.
You take your family vacation in September, when the beaches and theme parks are empty.
You take a suitcase full of books along on your family vacation.
You can never find your kitchen utensils because they're out in the sandbox.
Your kitchen doubles as a science lab.
You are on a first name basis with your local librarian and bookstore owner.
The UPS driver delivers a box of Scholastic books to your doorstep once a month.
You know the scientific names of dinosaurs from A to Z.
You're willing to drop what you're doing at a moment's notice to go look something up in a dictionary or encyclopedia.
You have ever vented for more than five minutes on the evils of standardized testing.
You don't get fired for teaching your students about God.
Some days you learn as much as your students.
The more your kids learn, the less you seem to know.


Rhonda said...

So glad you liked these. I can relate to most of these also.

Carrie Thompson said...

Very funny!

Anonymous said...

Love it! Thanks for the giggles.

Jennifer said...

That first one is so true!

Robin said...

VERY funny!
I loved the one about getting credit for going to the dentist! We always try to learn stuff when we go to the dentist now, too!

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